Until the end, p.24
Until the End, page 24
Amari walked in a few moments later and took a seat next to Talia. She silently reached over and grabbed Talia's free hand and squeezed it tightly. Amari’s mother’s funeral was scheduled for the next day and it seemed as if she had been handling Blake’s death well but the tear-stained blush on her cheeks showed Talia that she was hurting, too. Talia looked over at her and smiled weakly, to which Amari did the same. Moments before the ceremony began, Isaiah took a seat on the other side of Amari, gripped her hand tightly and noticeably fought back tears.
Isaiah was asked to say a few words, and he waited until he could speak clearly before he stood and made his way to the podium. He looked out at all the people who had gathered and strained a smile. "I want to thank all of you for gathering today," he looked down at the podium and sucked in his bottom lip as his chin quivered.
"Blake was an amazing young boy. After the death of our parents, he handled it well and managed to help me cope. Even back then, he was much more mature than I was. He understood how difficult it was for me to have all of the responsibility put on me like that and he accepted my faults." Isaiah took a deep, shaky breath. "He was the best brother anyone could ask for. I remember one night I desperately needed to get away, just to get a taste of my old life, my life before our parents died. I called my best friend, Damien and asked if he could handle Blake on his own. It was wrong of me, and I know that." Damien shook his head in response, but Isaiah continued, "Blake loved Damien as much as he loved me. He loved everyone he came into contact with. Every person Blake knew enjoyed being around him and he knew that. He made the best of his life."
Isaiah gripped the edge of the podium as he fought back a few tears but lost. They fell from his eyes and splashed onto his penned speech. "Blake used to tell me that life was short, and I shouldn't constantly worry about everything. He always told me that everything had its place and time and sometimes there are things you need to cope with that you probably don't think you can," Isaiah's voice broke as more tears fell. Talia glanced at Damien and noticed he was sucking in as many sobs as Isaiah. He was staring at his lap and his tears were causing the ink from the pamphlet to run. The picture of Blake now looked like he was crying, too.
"Blake always listened to the most upbeat music and watched funny movies. He wasn't interested in drama or action or horror. He loved the songs about moving on in life and picking up the pieces from your past and I adored him for that. Sometimes I think that this child, just shy of being a teenager, was more of an adult than I am. Legally I was meant to take care of him, but in reality, he was taking care of me by keeping me in check and preventing me from making wrong decisions." Isaiah stared at the podium as his voice cracked and his body heaved into a sob. He held up his hand as a type of surrender and sat down. The man leading the ceremony made his way to the podium and asked Damien to stand.
Talia’s jaw dropped and she squeezed Damien’s hand. “I didn’t know you were speaking.”
He looked at her through teary eyes. He stood slowly and dragged his feet toward the podium as if it was his worst nightmare at that moment. Damien stared down at the podium for a moment, his hands clenched against the edges just like Isaiah's hands had been. He took a deep breath, and Talia knew he was trying to muster up the strength.
"Blake asked me, right before he died, if there had been some reason we stopped talking to each other, what would I say to him as my last words," Damien's voice trembled. "I told him," tears splashed against the podium. "I told him he should work on his kick-flip because it was weak. He said the last thing he'd say to me was," Damien's body shuddered and he used the podium for support. "He said he'd tell me that I was the second greatest person he knew because he had to give his love to Isaiah first for taking care of him. He told me he knew it wasn't easy taking care of him but the three of us living together made him see me more as a brother than as his brother's best friend. Blake and I had connected before this, but over the past couple of years, it's grown deeper. I never had a brother," Damien stood up, looking strong. "Because God graced me with Blake and Isaiah and that's all I needed," he closed his eyes and tilted his head down toward the podium.
Talia realized he hadn't written a speech at all and this was all coming from the heart. She took the moment of silence to steal a glance of Isaiah. He was leaning forward on his knees, covering his eyes and trying to keep the painful sound of his sobbing to a minimum. Amari looked at Talia with tears in her eyes as she rubbed his back softly.
"Blake was a godsend. Anyone who knew him knows that. He was everything and anything you could ask for in a brother, or in a little boy in general," Damien looked out at all of the people who were watching him. "He shouldn't have died so young, but everyone says that about a young child who lost their life. I don't believe any death is premature and I know for certain there are a thousand reasons we lost him. I just haven't figured them out yet."
Damien nodded to the man conducting the funeral then took his seat next to Talia. He grabbed her hand and looked at her softly as he fought back tears and his lip quivered. Talia wrapped her arm around him and allowed him to lean against her. She knew that was all she could do for him and the feeling of inadequacy started to sneak up on her, but she squeezed him tight and tried to force those feelings away.
The ceremony pressed on for an extra hour, with family members from all over the country coming to say a few words about their beloved Blake. The gentleman conducting the funeral formed a line of people to walk past the casket and pay their respects. Isaiah, Amari, Talia, and Damien were first and told to stand next to the casket while the rest of the line walked through. Talia stood in front of Blake a little longer than she intended. She reached out and touched his face softly and choked back a few tears herself as Damien reached down and grabbed Blake's hand. He squeezed it tightly and took a deep breath as he let go for the last time and found his way next to Isaiah.
Many people passed through and hugged the four of them individually. Many were crying or sniffling, but there were a few people scattered throughout the building who were proving strong and didn't show any signs of tears. These were the people Talia hurt for the most. She had a strong sense that they were the type to break down in the comfort of their own homes, far from the eyes of strangers.
37
The drive to the cemetery was long and dreary. Talia sat in the same car as Isaiah, Amari, and Damien. The ride was just short of silent due to sniffles and a few sobs that were muffled under their breath. Talia clutched onto Damien's hand to reassure him that she was there, and she would always be.
A small crowd gathered around Blake's burial site. Damien pulled Talia into his arms, and his tears wet her hair. Talia buried her face into his chest and her tears wet his finely pressed shirt. She watched the man carelessly deliver the burial speech and his lack of empathy stung. Talia hoped Isaiah and Damien hadn’t noticed how he stood before a twelve-year-old child just to do his job. His eyes were dry, and his cheeks were only a slight shade of red due to the breeze. He stood strong and didn't even look at Blake. Talia wanted to ask him what he would do if it were his son or his brother or even his best friend's brother. She wanted to tell him to look at Blake and tell him to know that Blake was a real person and that this wasn't just a job for the people standing around him.
Talia decided to bury her face in Damien's chest was the only way to prevent her from causing a scene. Before the casket was lowered, the mourners were asked to say a few final words. Isaiah stepped forward with a rose in his hand and let it fall on top of the casket. He ran his hand down the woodwork and stared at the enclosure. His hands gripped the bouquet of flowers atop the casket and he leaned forward, sobbing. His body heaved against his brother's holding place. "This can't be real. This can't be."
Amari ran forward, trying to comfort him but he rejected her, clutching onto the casket with every ounce of strength he owned.
"He isn't gone. He's not. He's not gone," he wailed. "Not B. He's still here. He's coming back and he's going to ride his skateboard in the house like I always tell him not to.” Isaiah fell to his knees and sunk into the wet ground. His suit was immediately soiled, but he showed no sign of concern about himself. “He's going to laugh and stay up late on a school night. He's not gone," Isaiah screamed as he sobbed against the casket.
Damien let go of Talia and struggled with Isaiah to pull him to his feet, "Come on, man."
"He's not gone, dude. He's not," Isaiah fell against Damien and caused him to stumble, still sobbing.
"I know, man, I know. Let's just finish this, okay?" Damien walked Isaiah back to where the girls were standing and sighed. Isaiah put himself between Amari and Talia, and Damien took Talia’s free side.
She leaned against Damien, who held her close again. They watched as the casket was lowered into the ground and Isaiah's body heaved into a loud sob once more. Talia reached out and grabbed Isaiah's hand, intertwining their fingers. He squeezed her hand tightly, but she could still feel his body shaking.
They began dumping the dirt onto the casket and Isaiah sniffled. He looked at Talia and gave her hand another squeeze, "He loved you, too, you know."
Talia's heart tightened, and she felt the tears flow from her eyes, leaving her sobbing against Damien's chest. Soon, Amari and Isaiah had joined and the four of them were crying, sniffling, and holding each other while becoming a wall for the person next to them.
The wake was filled with many people, including a lot of kids who went to school with Blake. The music was upbeat and loud, there was dancing, and a food table that would put most caterers to shame. The wake had turned into more of a party than anything, and it was hard to find a single tear in the banquet hall.
Talia sat next to Damien, who stole kisses between conversations about Blake and his musings. "This is the strangest, most upbeat wake I've ever been to," Talia commented.
"Blake would've loved it," Isaiah chimed in. "Hey, Damien. Man, thanks for everything."
The two of them exchanged their secret handshake and smiled, "It's no problem. Anything I can do for my best friend."
After Isaiah got distracted by another patron, Talia leaned against Damien. “What was that about?”
“What?” Damien asked innocently.
“What did he mean, ‘thanks for everything’?”
Damien tilted his head, his brown eyes peering at her. “That’s not important, let’s just enjoy ourselves, okay?”
Talia pursed her lips as she watched him. He flashed her a toothy smile and she shook her head with a chuckle. “Alright, Romeo, but you’ll have to fess up one day.”
“One day,” he nodded in agreement.
38
Damien clicked the power button for the first time and after a small electrical crackle, the neon of the “Now Open” sign illuminated the sidewalk in front of the parlor. He beamed at Talia who sat at the front desk, with the appointment book opened wide in front of her. The blank available spaces were vivid against the dark desk in front of her.
Isaiah pulled the door open and stepped inside with a small stack of leftover fliers. His hair was matted against his face with sweat, but he was grinning from ear to ear. “I didn’t get rid of all of them,” he held up the papers in his hand. “But all the other parlors in town let me drop some off, and they said they’ll be by after close to celebrate. I took a bunch of them to the mall and paid a couple of kids to pass them out at the parks.”
“The parks? You have to be eighteen to get an appointment.” Damien crossed his arms over his chest.
“Well, yeah, but like the skate park?”
Damien tilted his head and nodded after a moment. “Alright, we’ll see how it plays out.”
Amari pushed through the door at the back of the parlor with a large silver tray piled high with meticulously designed finger sandwiches. She set them down on the glass counter that displayed piercing models and different jewelry options. She dusted her hands off and smiled at her project. “Just a few more touches and we’ll be ready to entertain!”
“Oh!” Talia jumped. “That reminds me!” She pulled out the bottom drawer of the desk and picked up the MP3 player she bought for Blake. She plugged it into the computer and scrolled to the song Blake had requested to be played at his funeral. She adjusted the volume to a comfortable level and hit play.
Isaiah stared at her with misty eyes before he nodded approvingly. “I’ll go get the flag for the street!”
Damien stood in the center of his parlor and turned in a slow circle, admiring every nook and cranny he could see. Talia watched him and smiled to herself then brought her attention to `the blank spaces in front of her. She pressed her pen against the white paper and thought for a moment while the ink bled into a small circle at the tip. She took a deep breath and scribbled her name and estimated time of forty-five minutes.
Amari brought a stack of plastic cups to the front and she clapped her hands together happily. “I think we need a picture!”
“I agree!” Talia grinned.
“Outside? So, we can get the sign?”
“Great idea!” Damien headed for the front door quickly. Talia grabbed her phone and the four of them met in front of the building. Without anyone else there to assist them, they all crouched down on the sidewalk and Damien, with the longest arms, held out the phone to take a group selfie. Behind them, a large green sign loomed above their heads. Damien tapped the sign in the picture and brought the words ‘Blakenstein’s Ink’ into focus.
“Say ‘Blake’!” Talia bellowed.
“Blaaaake!” Everyone yelled in unison, grinning from ear to ear. Damien snapped the picture.
“What are you going to do with the pens?” Talia inquired.
Damien shrugged, “We can donate them, or hand them out to people who come in? They have the same address and phone number on them, the name is just different.”
“We might have to explain to everyone why it’s different.”
“I’m okay with that,” Damien nodded.
A few minutes later, a small group of people walked in, all toting a flyer.
“Hey, we wanted to make some appointments!” The young man in front of the group announced.
“Great!” Talia exclaimed.
“Thanks for coming out,” Damien approached them and shook hands with each of them.
“Hell yeah, man, this is a great cause!” One of the other young men said.
They formed a line and each handed Talia their flyer and scheduled times to either get a tattoo or piercing. She sat the fliers down next to her and scribbled each of their names at the top of each one she was handed.
“Thank you for your donation to the Blake Carter skatepark!” Talia beamed as she marked each appointment off as ‘paid’.
“When is this park opening?” A young man asked as he handed over his debit card.
“We’re hoping to open it at the start of spring,” Amari chimed in.
“Is it close?” He asked.
“Yeah, it’s actually only a few blocks behind us.” Damien nodded.
“Who’s Blake Carter?”
Isaiah’s chest lifted as he stepped up to the group and held his hand out. “I’m Isaiah Carter, Blake was my little brother. He recently died of childhood leukemia and skating was his favorite thing. We thought he’d like this.”
The customer grabbed Isaiah’s hand and shook it firmly, “I’m sorry to hear that, man. He sounds like a great little dude.”
“He was,” Isaiah nodded.
A couple hours after a steady stream of customers making appointments, Damien reached over Talia’s shoulder and grabbed the book. “Wow, it’s not so blank anymore.”
Talia giggled. “Not at all.”
“First up is…” His voice trailed off as he read the name over a few times. Finally, he looked down at her. “Seriously?”
She sucked in her bottom lip and nodded, “Yeah, let’s hurry up so I don’t change my mind.”
“Do you even have anything picked out?”
“Of course!” She pulled open the bottom drawer and found a small sketch she had done of a single round-tip paintbrush. She handed it to him, and he examined it for a moment.
“Okay, let’s so this.” He took her sketch to the drawing board and began to trace it on transfer paper. She made her way to the table and pulled herself up onto it. She laid down and pushed the strap off her shoulder. Once Damien arrived with the transfer paper, he cleaned her shoulder and applied the temporary tattoo over her collarbone. He smiled at her and placed a kiss on her lips gently. He pulled gloves over each hand and attached a needle to his machine. It buzzed loudly as he tested the speed and depth. He poured black ink into a small ink cup and dipped the tip of the needle into it. “Are you ready?” He glanced at her with a smile.
She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded quickly, “Absolutely.”
Acknowledgements
First and foremost, I need to thank my husband, George Hoffman IV. Every single day he reminds me of how much he loves me, how beautiful I am, and how this thing that I’m doing here, I’m entirely capable of. My sexy hubband man has proven to me time and time again that true love is real, and it’s right here. He loves me through my ups and downs, through his own ups and downs, and through every life changing decision we need to make together. Our bond only grows stronger, and with that, our story grows longer.
Alyssa, I know this probably wasn’t as fun as you thought it would be, but I am incredibly proud of you for being on board as quickly as you were. I loved every single photo of you, and had the hardest time deciding between my favorites, even the one where it looked like you were about to cry because none of us knew what exactly we were doing. Thanks for being so supportive of both me and your mother. You are going to do amazing things in this world and I’m so grateful I am here to watch your world unfold. Thank you for your hard work.
