I dont want to be the he.., p.1
I Don't Want to Be the Hero Vol. 3, page 1
Copyright © 2021 M.E. Thorne
All rights reserved
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
ISBN-13: 9781234567890
ISBN-10: 1477123456
Cover design by: Andreea Sava
Library of Congress Control Number: 2018675309
Printed in the United States of America
Contents
Copyright
Author’s Note
The Story Thus Far
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Epilogue
Afterward
Books by M.E. Thorne
Author’s Note
I can’t believe it’s been a year since I started my writing career. My first book came out in October 2020, and it’s been a crazy ride since. I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of you, my readers, for supporting me and making this all possible.
I had a blast writing this book, and I can’t wait to bring you more of Mal’s adventures in 2022. In the meantime, I’m hard at work on Dark Lord’s Commands 2, which should be out Dec/Jan, so you can look forward to that.
As always, you can sign up for my newsletter or follow me on Facebook and Twitter for the latest updates. If you enjoyed this book please leave a positive review and spread the word!
Thank you again!
The Story Thus Far
Growing up in The City, Mal was told that it was a utopia, overseen by the benevolent Goddess. She protected her children from the outside world, a dark wasteland ruled by the Demon Lord.
But even in a perfect world, Mal felt like an outcast and a freak. He had the unique ability to see magic. And any spell he could see, he could break, shattering hexes, bindings, and blessings as easily as he breathed. Only his friend and lover, Sarah, believed in him and saw his value.
All of Mal’s illusions about the nature of his world were shattered when he turned eighteen. Branded a Hero by the Goddess, he was brainwashed and exiled out into the outside world to slaughter and kill in her name. Only a chance encounter with the demon knight Annowan and her dragonkin squire Gilly saved his life.
Becoming Annowan’s squire at the same time as the orc Thalie, Mal slowly learned about the world of Amalgam, and the empire ruled by Annowan’s grandmother, Lilith, the Immortal Empress and the ruler who sat upon the Throne. He also learned the truth about the Bitch Goddess, who had once attempted to conquer Amalgam along with her human, elven, and dwarven allies.
He resolved to defeat the Bitch Goddess and to save Sarah from her clutches.
Using knowledge implanted in Mal by the Bitch Goddess, Annowan resolved to find and kill the Four Generals, the legendary warriors who had led the Bitch’s army during the cataclysmic war between the empire and The City. During this journey, they were joined by the goblin dragoon Krencha and her mighty mole-dog Scrapple. The party braved ent haunted woods, cursed dwarven ruins, and abandoned cities full of mutant insects to reach the Red Mountain, the resting place of the first general.
Mal also became romantically entangled with Gilly, Thalie, and Krencha, coming to love the three women and their unique strengths.
Upon arriving at the Red Mountain, Mal was horrified to find that the Bitch Goddess had possessed Sarah and was using her to claim the general. During the climactic battle, Mal used his spell-breaking ability to free the general, who in turn attacked The City’s troops and saved the party.
Revealing herself as Tarial, the Last Herald, she had volunteered to carry the party to Babylon, the demonic capital and the home of Lilith and the Throne.
Upon arriving in Babylon, the party met Lilith, who was the empress as well as Annowan’s grandmother. They also learned that Tarial was Lilith’s wife and the last remaining member of the empress’s harem.
Lilith explained that Mal was a spellbreaker; the spellbreakers had been renegade humans who had broke with the Bitch Goddess during the war, siding with the Throne against their deity. Impressed by his deeds and by his ability, Lilith made Mal a ward of the Throne.
Next, the party was sent on a quest to find the second general, braving the inhospitable and spell-cursed Coldspite Basin. There, they allied with Daggerdare, an elven treespeaker, who had come to break the curse of eternal winter over the valley. Together, they faced corrupt blizzards, snow monsters, and undead wurms, as they pressed into the heart of the Basin and the general’s tomb.
During the journey, Gilly revealed that Mal’s paramours were planning on wedding him upon their return to Babylon. They all shared the same goal, defeating the Bitch Goddess, and by creating a harem they’d become members of Lilith’s court. Daggerdare, drawn in by Mal’s strength and resolve, joined their group as well, becoming Mal’s lover.
Finally, reaching the center of the Basin, the party was joined by Tarial, who revealed that the tomb was actually built by a group of angelic beings known as the Watchers. The Watchers had been created by the same divine being as Tarial, but upon arriving in Amalgam they had been deceived and corrupted by the Bitch Goddess.
Fighting the tomb’s undead monstrosities, the party was ambushed by Sarah, still possessed by the Bitch Goddess. She mind-controlled Mal and forced him to break the magic sealing the tomb. Fighting back, Mal broke free and thwarted the Bitch’s plans by releasing the entombed general, Revekar, the necromantic king of the dwarves. Revekar swore revenge on the Bitch Goddess and the Throne, before escaping.
Retreating to Daggerdare’s village, Annowan resolved to negotiate peace between the elves and the Throne, bringing them together against their mutual foe. Mal wed Daggerdare, pledging that he and all his wives would work together to bring down the Bitch and save the world.
Chapter 1
“Congratulations,” Lilith said, “I now declare you husband and wives.”
I stood there, stunned.
“That’s it?” I asked. “Shouldn’t there be a formal ceremony, some eternal vows, maybe a small speech?” I spoke in a lower tone, “There’s not going to be an animal sacrifice, is there?”
“I’m the empress,” she responded casually before throwing herself down on the sofa next to Tarial, “I’m pretty sure what I say goes.”
The herald smiled, “Congratulations.”
Gilly sighed, “I told Mal that wedding ceremonies weren’t a huge affair, but I think we all were looking for something just a bit more formal, Lilith.” She twirled around, lifting her tail so her long, lacy dress frilled outward. The white gown contrasted beautifully with her draconic scales and sapphire blue skin.
Thalie, in a matching dress, looked a bit crestfallen as well. She had made a flower crown of daisies and lilies, the woven stems almost as green as her complexion. More flowers were twined around her wrist as a corsage.
I knew the two of them had spent the day before with the imperial tailors, getting their wedding gowns made. Thalie had used her magic to grow the flowers especially for that event.
I reached over and squeezed Thalie’s hand, “Don’t worry, despite our lackadaisical empress, I still think you,” I nodded to Krencha, “all of you, look beautiful. I’m the happiest man alive.”
The goblin dragoon had opted to wear her armor for the ceremony, but I knew she had spent the night before polishing it till it gleamed. She looked every bit the majestic dragoon errant.
Scrapple the mole-dog barked joyfully. Like his knight, he had been washed, cleaned, and brushed until his fur shone.
“Watch it, Mal,” Lilith warned, as she snuggled up with her wife, “you might be my ward, but that just means I can throw you into the dungeon without a trial.”
Tarial sighed, “My apologies. My wife has never taken marriage ceremonies particularly seriously.”
Lilith rolled over, placing her head on the herald’s lap. “Hey, I thought our ceremony was great! Remember, we were both naked, and you carried me to the top of Mount Trygan, where we spent four nights just --”
Tarial flapped her wings, nearly knocking Lilith off the sofa.
“Beloved,” the angel hissed, “I don’t think that’s an appropriate story for today.” She blushed further. “Or for any day, really.”
“Anyway,” Lilith sat up. “You’re now married. When you get a chance go find Grason and let him know, he can help you fill out all the paperwork needed to officially declare your harem. It might take a few weeks, but I’m sure he’ll fit you into the schedule sooner rather than later.”
“Schedule?” I puzzled.
Gilly laughed, hugging my arm. “Yeah, we need to present ourselves before the Throne so we can be formally introduced to t
“To kill the Bitch Goddess,” I said.
She laughed and kissed me again.
“A worthy goal!” Krencha agreed. “But don’t forget, we want to save that woman Sarah as well!”
“Right,” I mumbled, blushing.
Sarah was my childhood sweetheart; she was beautiful, smart, and skilled, with golden yellow hair and a dazzling smile. We had lived together in The City, and until a few months ago I had fully expected to spend my entire life there.
But I could never have anticipated the crazy events of the past few months. Once I had turned eighteen, I was brainwashed and exiled from The City, the last bastion of humanity. I was sent on a one-way suicide mission by the Bitch Goddess to kill as many people as possible in the outside world.
But instead of getting myself and a lot of innocents killed, I met the demon knight Annowan and her squire Gilly.
And now I’m married to a dragonkin, an orc, an elf, and a goblin?
A lot of other stuff had happened beforehand; rescuing Tarial, breaking the curse over a land trapped in perpetual winter, and freeing the evil king of the dwarves from his magical slumber, but by that point, all my thoughts were jumbled together.
Thalie came over and hugged me, breaking me from my fugue and reminding me that I should be celebrating.
Lilith eyed the cast on my foot, “How much longer are you stuck wearing that?”
“At least another month,” I sighed.
During my adventure in Coldspite Basin, looking for the Bitch Goddess’s second missing general, I had been on the painful end of a bone-breaking foot stomp. I had also received a huge amount of magical healing to save my life. When we had returned to Babylon I had double-checked with the palace infirmary, but they told me the same thing Gilly and the elven healers had said. They all advised me that I needed to let my remaining injuries heal naturally lest I risk suffering some nasty magical side effects.
“Well, in that case then, I order you to take a break and recover until I need you.” Lilith waved breezily, resuming her spot on Tarial’s lap. “Use the Royal Quarters. Annowan and Daggerdare probably won’t be back for another week or two anyway, so take it easy and enjoy your honeymoon.”
At the mention of the word honeymoon, I blushed furiously, and Gilly got a mischievous look across her face.
I had barely just recovered from my first honeymoon with Daggerdare.
Before I could respond, I felt Gilly start dragging me away.
“Well, Empress Lilith, Mother of Demons and Immortal Ruler of the Empire has ordered that you need bed rest,” my dragonkin wife said slyly. “We need to listen to her orders.”
“Wait,” I sputtered, “I don’t think --”
“Yes, we all need to go to bed,” Krencha said, laughing.
Thalie, for her part, just smiled and grabbed my other arm, pulling me along.
Infernal Bloom Palace was massive. Hovering above the volcanic caldera that housed the demonic capital of Babylon, it easily held everything the imperial government needed to function; offices, ballrooms, meeting halls, courtrooms, teleportation chambers, and more. The senchal, Grason, had once told me it contained several thousand kilometers of hallways.
Walking down them, my new wives in tow, I could easily believe him. Even with conveniently placed teleportation pads, it still took a good amount of time to make it from the Skywatch Quarters, Lilith’s and Tarial’s private chambers, to our own.
As we walked, almost everyone gave us odd looks. Mostly because of me. Humans at large within the empire, let alone in the imperial palace, were unheard of.
A thousand years before, the Bitch Goddess had waged a bitter war with Lilith and her allies. Humanity had fought on the side of the Bitch, along with the elves and dwarves. After the war had ended, humanity had joined her in The City. They hid behind her magical shield, the Aurora, sealing themselves off from the outside world.
Humans hadn’t been seen since, outside the brainwashed Slayers sent to kill in the Bitch Goddess’s name.
Well, I corrected myself, until recently. From what Charlix says, the Bitch Goddess's forces have been spotted everywhere recently, still searching for her remaining two generals.
Most of the palace staff had the good graces not to stare, but I heard a wave of whispering in the halls as we passed. I had been publicly declared an ally to the Throne, squire to Lilith’s granddaughter, and a ward of the empress, but it seemed most people still couldn’t fully comprehend having a human in their midst.
Gilly turned and made a foul gesture at a group of demonic functionaries that had been staring at our procession a bit too long.
“Fuck off,” she yelled at them, sending them scattering to be anywhere but there.
“Harassing the office staff will not make you any friends,” Grason said, as he smoothly appeared from a side hallway, his stride matching our own.
Scrapple barked happily and let the older demon reach up and scratch him behind his ears.
“Congratulations on your marriages,” he said, before handing me a pile of paper. “You’ll need to fill out these forms at your earliest convenience.”
I groaned inwardly.
“Grason!” Gilly snapped playfully, “You do realize we were just married, why are you giving all of this junk to us now?”
The old man smiled. Lean and grey, he still possessed the energy of a man a quarter of his age. Not that I have any clue how old he is, or even how long the average demon lives for.
He leaned over and gave Gilly a big hug, only stepping back a moment later to wipe at his eyes. “I’m just so happy for you, my dear! I wanted to get the official material out of the way so I could admire you on your wedding day.”
Gilly smiled, before giving him a twirl, happily showing off her dress. “It’s great right?”
“Utterly fantastic,” he agreed, before turning to Thalie. “And you look charming as well, Miss Grashool.”
The orc smiled, adjusting the flowers pinned in her hair.
“And what about me?” Krencha challenged, still mounted on Scrapple’s back.
She had left her helmet hanging from the saddle, revealing her copper-hued skin and practically cut brown hair. Her features, with large green eyes and a wide, generous smile, would have seemed oversized on a human, but I found them incredibly endearing. She might have stood barely over a meter tall, but I knew she could fell foes thrice her height.
“Very martial,” the demon nodded. “I do believe you could go straight from your matrimonial vows to the battlefield, utterly annihilating your foes.”
She smiled, enjoying the compliment.
Grason’s expression became more serious as he turned back to Gilly, “I’m assuming you haven’t notified your parents yet?”
Gilly snorted, “No, and I don’t plan to either. The last thing I want is them whining that I married a human rather than some pre-screened moron whose family owns a navy, a shipping lane, or whatever crap my dad wants.”
I glanced at Gilly, but her expression clearly said she didn’t want to talk about the topic any further.
“Well then, I shall wish you a wonderful evening.” He nodded to Thalie and Krencha, “If you wish to send word to your relatives or friends, just let me know and I can arrange things with Lady Charlix.”
He disappeared back into the crowd.
Gilly gave a huff and hiked up her dress. “Come on, let’s hurry up and get this honeymoon started before the last of my good humor evaporates.”
We had barely returned to the Royal Quarter before Gilly pounced on me, pressing me against the wall and planting a long, salacious kiss on my lips. She ground her hips into mine, rubbing my crotch against the top of her thigh.
“Much better,” she gasped, as we finally broke contact. “For a second there I was afraid I’d have to fuck your brains out while I was in a bad mood.”
“Let’s go to my room,” I said, taking her hand and then reaching for Krencha and Thalie, who had watched the scene with barely concealed lust.
Seeing me and Gilly kicking off the festivities had clearly given them plenty of ideas on how they wanted to spend the night.
The goblin dragoon quickly dispatched her mount, sending the mole-dog off to visit the kitchen. The Royal Quarter’s staff had quickly fallen in love with the hound, and I figured he had put on an extra ten pounds from all the scrapple and snacks they had given him.
